I let go of my plans to do diving or going to Koh Lanta (apparently a very beautiful island) before going to Vietnam and meeting up with my brothers. I spend a lot of time painting in a café, speaking with people and sitting with myself and some uncomfortable feelings.

If you are seeing new things every day, there is not a lot of time to process everything. Feelings of loneliness overcame me. Being by myself and seeing a beautiful sunset at the beach did bring up emotions to the surface that I was sweeping under an imaginary carpet. And then finding inner strength in myself, finding that comfort. It‘s something I knew it would be challenging and it‘s one of the reasons I wanted to travel solo in the first place. To face those feelings. And truly be with myself.

I am very glad that I stayed one full week at Tonsai. To get there, it’s only possible by boat or you have to walk over a jungle path and stones from the very touristy (but very beautiful) Railey Beach.

Tonsai felt like a small community of very friendly people, mostly climbers because the area is surrounded by massive stone walls. It‘s truly incredible. I even saw like hundreds of flying foxes flying after sunset in the sky. This is a place where people stay for longer. At least a few days if not a week. I met an Austrian guy who even came for 5 weeks. Only to climb. And then to go back to Austria. And I have to say, running into the same people every day and eating at the same places („Mama Chicken“ 🫶), made this place feel at home.

One day I went to a Lagoon over the steepest hiking path I‘ve ever walked. There were ropes to help you because it was close to 90 degrees and you had to climb a bit. And then reaching the Lagoon was magical. Turquoise water. Surrounded by maybe 50m or 100m high stones. And large green palms and trees. It felt like straight of a Jurassic film. I swam with the friend I met on my way to the Lagoon. We shared some instant coffee and a small lunch on the way. And we were so lucky to have the Lagoon completely for ourselves for like 15min when we arrived. I sat down on a palm tree that was lying in the water and looked at the tiny little fish swimming around me. I don’t know what overcame me but I was curious if I can catch one in my hand. And yes, I could! Still surrounded by water in my hand, I wanted to put it back after a few seconds but I couldn’t even blink and it jumped out. I didn’t know it could jump that high. And that far. I caught a second one but it didn’t jump. It seemed to get stressed and I started to feel so awful, I put it back and apologized.

Yesterday I finally was able to sign up for a climbing course and I could not be prouder of myself. I always wanted to climb outside but it felt so inaccessible to me for some reason. We started on fairly easy walls and then finished off at an insane 22m high one. I didn‘t think I‘d make it. I had no energy left in my arms. And during that climb I fell off the wall two times (but of course I was safe with the ropes!). The instructor was very kind and patient and the two other two girls encouraged me a lot to continue. Reaching the end of the climb I was so happy. I looked down and around, it was close to sunset and so incredibly beautiful. I could barely believe my eyes. I want to climb again. 🥰

Today I am on my way to Kuala Lumpur. By bus. Or better: a boat and multiple busses. Starting 9:30am at the pier (after walking the jungle path) and now 17h to go. I am looking forward to it in a way. It gives time to say good bye from a place and leaves space to get ready for something new. And my Visa for Thailand is ending on the 3rd, so I have to leave!